me: does 5 minute work out
me: expects drastic changes
oh
this just got awkward
This is the only time I am allowing that to be on my blog
omg the-absolute-funniest-posts can you stop that already
(via vendelassecret)
I was not really sure what I felt. All these words in books, music and from the mouths of friends and family allowed me to doubt my feelings. If I can rationalize and realize that this will not last forever and that he might not be the ideal guy, does that still mean I like him? I thought it didn’t. Fact is, I thought that if I even doubted that, I should probably give up because it would not be real.
But today, I texted him, and for the first time he said “I can’t meet you, I am too tired.” and then I felt this suction in my stomach, like a black hole. I still have this lump in my throat, an hour later. For the first time I had to write him back with “okay, well, uhm, I can’t meet during the rest of the week, but maybe friday or something?” and I just felt like my fingers didn’t want to type any longer. For the first time, my thoughts ran through my head like a chant “he doesn’t want to see me, he doesn’t want to see me.”. I was scared.
Really, I blame myself for letting him have such a big impact on me. I’ve always thought it to be needy and silly, of course he has a life, he can’t see me all the time. He has to be allowed to be tired or grumpy at times and I have to accept that. Most importantly, I can’t see him several times a week, every single week.
Then he wrote me back and said that if I couldn’t meet for the rest of the week, he could see me today anyway. He didn’t care that he was tired. I exploded in a sincere smile. And to be honest, despite several people telling me that; “maybe this isn’t right” and “you shoudn’t stop looking” and even “you are not attracted to him”, I know that this is more right than anything else in my life right now. I don’t know what I would do without him and that scares me, but it is true.
This also means that he has a power over me that is so very frightening, because at once, I have handed my emotional well-being over to him. If he was to tell me he can’t do this any more… It would kill me right now. It would.
I can’t believe I didn’t realize that before.
(via maurafreakingisles)
Favourite animal
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Tom Hiddleston fans.
PLUG YOUR HEADPHONES BEFORE LISTENING!
Words: I will be the first man to kiss you. To bed you. Whether you come willingly or not, you will be mine, and mine alone. Do you understand?
